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Your Guide to Alcohol

Weather Emergencies, Your Beer Supply, and What You Can Do

My keg went dry in the kegerator at around 10:15 in the evening on Christmas Eve. I was in no condition to drive, and a winter storm had just started to drop what would turn out to be about 9 inches of snow at my house. Even if it weren’t snowing, I’m sure the liquor store was already closed anyway. Most men would have panicked, but I wasn’t worried.

There was no way I was going to drive my drunk ass to the liquor store through that kind of weather. No matter, I have enough booze stockpiled in my basement to last me until about March. By then I’m sure the snowplow will come by.

It does go to show that you can never be too prepared for an emergency. To help you avoid Keg’s Empty Grief Syndrome (KEGS), I have developed a little list here that should go a long way toward making sure you have everything you need in case a weather or civil emergency strikes your neighborhood.

  • Beer – it’s a good idea to keep at least a week’s worth in your home. Take the number of beers you drink per day and multiply that number by 12. That’s how much beer you drink in a week.
  • Liquor – You will want to make sure you can make it through a month of weather related turmoil without drinking up all your good Scotch. Liquor stores may be closed for a long time, so it’s important to get some cheap stuff and hide it in the crawl-space under your house.
  • Food and stuff – You will also need some food. Keep in mind you should stockpile nutritious foods that you enjoy and can keep for a very long time:
    • Olives
    • Maraschino Cherries
    • Pop Corn
    • Beef Jerky

There is no point in keeping too much beer in the house. Beer will spoil over time, and if your idiot friends find it, then they will probably drink it all anyway.

Remember that by following these simple precautions, you will never run out of alcohol or nutritious food during an emergency. What’s more, keeping a stash of supplies also helps in case of an unplanned period of unemployment.

You can get thousands of Mixed Drink Recipes at the DrunkMansGuide.com


December 26, 2007 Posted by | Alcohol Jokes, beer, Liquor | , , , | Leave a comment